A Slam-Dunk for Jeremy

Jeremy was fourteen years old and suffered from the most common type of Down's Syndrome, Trisomy 21, which meant he had an entire extra chromosome. His mother Hiney was so old when she had him that the risk was much higher she'd have a baby with Down's Syndrome. She rolled those dice, and look where it got her: to a land of misfortune.

Jeremy was happy for the most part. He just did whatever he wanted, and his life was really great. Everyone was nice to him and gave him things and rubbed his head. Once, he received this necklace from some distant cousin. That was cool. He didn't even know her, and he got a shiny necklace. Jeremy wore it everyday until it broke when he was going down a slide at a playground. He cried for twenty minutes. Then someone handed him a few leaves and rocks, and he forgot all about that necklace.

At school, Jeremy was always in good spirits. He had a lot of friends. Some kids joked about him being retarded, but it was always behind his back so it never hurt his feelings. But now he was about to enter the seventh grade, junior high. Jeremy wasn't nervous though because he was retarded.

On the first day of class, he walked down the hall and noticed some stares. At his old school, people stared, but it wasn't as threatening. Pretty soon a big bully walked up to Jeremy. This kid was huge, and he was wearing a radical shirt. His name was Mareo, and everyday he wore a tank top that said PULVERIZE across the chest. He had four varieties of the same shirt, black with white letters, red with white letters, blue with white letters, and white with black letters.

Mareo, with arms folded, approached Jeremy in a locker-lined hall. He had six goon-shaped buddies behind him. Mareo said in a low grumble, "Where do you think you're going, retard?"

Jeremy's face melted into a sadder version of his face. "I'm going to my classroom," he said in his stuttery retard voice.

"Wrong answer, dummy." There was a certain amount of irony in Mareo calling Jeremy dumb for in truth, he really was only one rung higher on the ladder of intelligence. In Mareo’s defense, it wasn't his fault. He inherited his stupidity from his dumb parents. They were so dumb that they spelled ‘Mario’ wrong when naming him. They just spelled it wrong. They weren't trying to be clever or anything.

"I'm not a dummy. I'm just as capable!" Jeremy tossed out that stock answer hammered into his head at an early age by his single, organic food-loving mother. By now, a small crowd had gathered around them.

Mareo turned to one of his equally dumb cronies. "Watch this." With both hands he shoved Jeremy to the ground. Everyone laughed so hard. People were doubled over with laughter. Mareo pointed and laughed with his meaty friends. Jeremy gasped loudly.

"You'll be sorry you messed with me!" he yelled up at Mareo.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"What are you gonna do, retard?" Still trying to catch his breath, Jeremy glared up at Mareo. Suddenly, a sly, retarded smile crept across his weird Down's Syndrome face.

"I'll beat you in a game of one-on-one basketball!" Again, everyone laughed. They were probably thinking 'How could this fumbling retarded kid ever do anything with a basketball that didn't involve hitting himself in the head?'

"Yeah right, retard..." said Mareo.

"My name is Jeremy!" shouted the angry boy.

"OK, Bri-an, DUHHH, I'll meet you on the basketball court at three o'clock today, and we'll see who wins," challenged Mareo.

"Yes, we'll see. You'll see. You will see." Jeremy picked up his books and stormed off to class. Junior high was not at all what he expected.

For the rest of the day he watched the clock. He could barely pay attention in any of his classes because he was so distracted by the looming basketball face-off with Mareo.

Science was his last class of the day, and when his teacher, Mr. Alvarez, dismissed the class, Jeremy ran out of the room as fast as he could. Some girl whispered to her friend, "He's probably running away. What a retard." Her friend nodded in agreement.

But Jeremy was not running away. He ran down into the locker room under the gym and quickly changed into his basketball shoes, mesh tank, and gym shorts. When he got up to the basketball court, Mareo was already there, waiting with a basketball in his hands. The gym was packed with onlookers. Jeremy stepped to Mareo, and the hushed mumbles stopped. There was complete silence from the crowd. Mareo bounced the ball, and its chilling echo rang out.

"Your ball, retard." Mareo handed the ball to Jeremy, but when Jeremy reached out to take it, Mareo quickly pulled it back. He laughed, and over on the side of the court, his buddies snickered, as well. He then threw the ball really hard at Jeremy's stomach. Jeremy caught it, but stumbled backwards a few steps.

The game started, and it was an embarrassment. Mareo was just cleaning up. He was showing off. Every time Jeremy got the ball Mareo was right there to take it away with ease. He did everything he could to utterly humiliate Jeremy in front of the entire school. He shouted out taunts, and Jeremy was noticeably thrown off.

The score was 15 to 0 in favor of Mareo. He needed only six more points to win, as they had agreed beforehand to play to 21. All that stood between Jeremy and permanent disgrace for the rest of his junior high days were two three-pointers or three regular two-pointers.

Jeremy had the ball. He got too excited and tripped. "Fuck!"  Everybody froze and stared. It had come to this. Jeremy used a swear word. "Fuck this," he whispered to himself. "I need the help of the darkest demons of hell. May they vomit in my mouth and give me power beyond what I have ever known to destroy and defeat my enemies."

"What did you say, idiot? Are you crying, retard Jeremy?" jibed Mareo.

Without warning Jeremy's body exploded in a burst of flame and bile. He grew to four times his previous size, and his penis started snaking out his pants. His engorged dick and balls were suddenly in everyone's face.

"Oh shit." Mareo's mouth was agape. He turned and tried to run, but Jeremy's now enormous hands grabbed him and threw him across the court into the blue, padded walls. Jeremy took the basketball and made five three-pointers right in a row to tie the game at 15. Blood started pouring out of his startling cock. Everyone was in shock.

"Who's retarded now, Mareo? Who's retarded! Feast on my fucking huge dick!" Jeremy screamed at the top of his lungs. His dick slapped Mareo in the face a hundred times in less than five seconds. Then it magically found every hot girl in the crowd and jammed itself into all of their mouths, one at a time. Semen exploded everywhere and got on everyone. All the boys were instantly gay from direct contact with Jeremy's ejaculate. The girls were dumbfounded, amazed, and so satisfied that basically, they'd be disappointed by any and all future sexual encounters.  

Jeremy swung from the rafters to the other end of the court. He shot the basketball out of his cannon-sized penis, and of course, swish!

Then flesh started growing between his arms and his sides. He was growing awesome wings. He flapped his new wings and flew over the crowd. He laughed as he shit all over them. When he touched back down, he pulled off his wing skin. He threw those wrinkly flaps at Mareo. Blood spilled out everywhere. The floor of the gym was completely covered in a two-inch pool of blood.

Jeremy casually strolled over to where Mareo was crying. "You're a little baby, Mareo." He barfed for five and a half minutes straight onto Mareo's head. He barfed enough to fill three 55-gallon drums. It was such a disgusting sight that all the other kids in the audience became so grossed out that they barfed on each other.

"Oh wait. I have to pee now," announced Jeremy. He wrapped his hands around his gnarly wang and let loose a geyser of pee. He showered everyone, soaked them with his yellow urine. At one point, he placed his thumb over his urethra, as one would do with a garden hose to make it spray harder.

Jeremy picked up the basketball and jogged into the paint for an easy lay up. The score was now 15 to 20 in favor of Jeremy. Out of the corner of his eye, Jeremy spotted Mareo's gang of friends. He tied his long dong into a lasso and roped them over closer to him. Then he used his dick to pull down all of their pants. "Hold each other's penises." He arranged them in a circle so that each boy was holding the penis of the boy to his right. Using a digital camera, Jeremy took photos and wirelessly uploaded them to every website on the Internet. How embarrassing. Then he barfed on their butts and peed in their butts.

He pushed those guys away. Mareo was convulsing over in the corner. Tears streamed from his eyes. Jeremy lifted Mareo up and handed him the basketball. "Here you go, Mareo. You're a retard." He pushed Mareo closer to the hoop. "Come on. There you go. Make a basket." Mareo took a few shots, but he kept missing. "Keep trying. You can make one!" said Jeremy encouragingly. Occasionally, blood would spurt out of all of Jeremy's orfices at once and onto Mareo, which was not helping him concentrate.

Eventually, Mareo made a basket. And another. "It's getting close!” screamed Jeremy. His voice was now comprised of every frequency in the audible and inaudible spectrum including the subsonic frequencies at which human bowels are disrupted. They all shit in their pants. The score was 19 to 20. Jeremy was still winning, but not by much.

After Mareo made that second basket, Jeremy slapped him hard on the cheek with his heavy dick. Mareo cried some more, and Jeremy took the basketball away. He took one leap and was at the other end of the court. He started running in place, faster and faster, until smoke appeared from beneath his feet. He burst forward. He took three steps and then launched into the air. His humongous dick was real and truthful, honest and firm. Jeremy was forty feet in the air and performing some of the most dazzling acrobatics ever seen on a basketball court. He appeared weightless, and at the apex of his flight, a mighty gush of blood, semen, diarrhea, and vomit erupted from his body and coated everyone below. No language known to man has a word to describe the infinite beauty of that scene.

Jeremy came down hard. His hand gripped the ball firmly as he soared toward the net. He let loose a wretched shriek that caused everyone to bleed from their ears. In perfect form, Jeremy executed a slam-dunk. He hung from the rim and let his immaculate balls dangle and brush up against Mareo's sniveling nose. Jeremy dropped and his balls smeared a hot stripe of sweat from Mareo's forehead to his chin.

"It looks like I win. Good game, Mareo. You put up a good fight. Maybe we can have a rematch sometime."

As a final act of courage and valor, Jeremy picked his nose and wiped a long, stringy, slimy piece of snot across Mareo's throat. Jeremy picked up the basketball, autographed it, and threw it into the stands. He waved to them as he walked out. Across all eras, never had such a gracious sportsman existed as did Jeremy, victim of nothing.